why lar???WHY????

why do i always fall for the guy tht im not supose to fall with??
why does this always happen to me??
i hate to be in this situation...
i hate to feel miserable...
i wanna tell him...
but i just cant...
im not brave enough...
i dnt know wht to do...
im so lost...
its hard for me to act as a friend infront of him and my friends...
whenever i think of him...i will smile automaticly...
and that i felt happy...
but seriously...
whenever i talk to him or just hanging out with him and some of my friends...
i kinda feel sad...
i dnt know why...
i miss him alot whenever i din see him....
no one knows abt this...
none of my friends know who this guy is...
i fell in love with him twice...
i fell in love with him before last time...
but i gave up...
and today i just dnt know why....
why can i fall in love again...??
with him...
i just dnt know wht shud i do next..
he has no idea tht i hv feeling towards him...
he doesnt even hv a clue...
he jsut treat me as a normal friend...
or perhaps a sister...
sad isnt it??
im afraid...
im afraid tht...if i tell him abt it...
he will not talk to me again...
ppl say break up is pain...
but i think..
if u hv a crush on sumone and u cant tell him or her tht how u feel...
is even more painful...
i feel so empty without him...
i just dnt know wht to do...
i wanna ask for help from my friend...
but i dnt think its a good idea...
and i think he wouldnt even try to start a relationship with me if he knows tht i love him...
wht did i do to deserve this??
i nv felt this miserable for a year...
i dnt know whether tht his heart is taken by sumone else...
or fall in love with another girl...
i hv no idea wht is in his heart..
its just so painful to feel like this...
i told myself tht i dnt wanna be single in new years eve..
bcoz its sucks...
i just dnt dare to tell him...



this is painful...