truly madly deeply

im truly in love with him,
im madly in love with him,
im deeply in love with him,
how am i suppose to let go?
i started to miss him every single day,
i started to love him more and more everyday,
but i guess no matter how hard i try,
he will never love me.
i really wish that i live in the fairytale,
believing in happily ever ever after,
but this is real life,reality,
there's no happy ever after,
there's so such thing as dreams come true,
i just can't find a way to let him go,
GOD!!what am i suppose to do??
damn it!!

being in love with a guy that you know that he wont love you is a waste of time and painful...i give up

this is the second time i gave up my love for him....
its sad...
he's in love with some other girl..
i no longer have the chance to be with him...
he had never fall in love with me..
its just me...
all i can keep on doing is...
just be friends with him..
it will hurt alot for me...
wht else can i do??
i cnt do anything...
all i can do is secretly admiring him...
he's a guy tht isver hard to tackle...
if he doesnt like tht girl...
no matter how hard tht girl try...
he still wont be with her...
its kinda hard for me to give up..
but there's nth else i can do...
being in love with a guy tht you know he wont love you,
is a waste of time and painful....
i give up...

why lar???WHY????

why do i always fall for the guy tht im not supose to fall with??
why does this always happen to me??
i hate to be in this situation...
i hate to feel miserable...
i wanna tell him...
but i just cant...
im not brave enough...
i dnt know wht to do...
im so lost...
its hard for me to act as a friend infront of him and my friends...
whenever i think of him...i will smile automaticly...
and that i felt happy...
but seriously...
whenever i talk to him or just hanging out with him and some of my friends...
i kinda feel sad...
i dnt know why...
i miss him alot whenever i din see him....
no one knows abt this...
none of my friends know who this guy is...
i fell in love with him twice...
i fell in love with him before last time...
but i gave up...
and today i just dnt know why....
why can i fall in love again...??
with him...
i just dnt know wht shud i do next..
he has no idea tht i hv feeling towards him...
he doesnt even hv a clue...
he jsut treat me as a normal friend...
or perhaps a sister...
sad isnt it??
im afraid...
im afraid tht...if i tell him abt it...
he will not talk to me again...
ppl say break up is pain...
but i think..
if u hv a crush on sumone and u cant tell him or her tht how u feel...
is even more painful...
i feel so empty without him...
i just dnt know wht to do...
i wanna ask for help from my friend...
but i dnt think its a good idea...
and i think he wouldnt even try to start a relationship with me if he knows tht i love him...
wht did i do to deserve this??
i nv felt this miserable for a year...
i dnt know whether tht his heart is taken by sumone else...
or fall in love with another girl...
i hv no idea wht is in his heart..
its just so painful to feel like this...
i told myself tht i dnt wanna be single in new years eve..
bcoz its sucks...
i just dnt dare to tell him...



this is painful...

can you believe this??

hi guys,u'll nv gonna believe wht am i gonna say...seriously...its very hilarious...
in my high school...there was this guy named syakir a.k.a sakai...
he was once me,chenelle and mary's friend...
he was once a good friend and a good boy...
he used to hang out with us during school time and after school...
but in a few months later...he's attitude has change alot...
he started to talk craps...
i mean craps like..
exp he said "oh im another person at night,the dark side of me will appear at night,and the next
morning i cant really remember wht i did last night..."
i mean c'mon man,can u believe there's this type of person in this world...
yes u may say tht is sleep walking but I'M SURE tht this guy is not sleep walking...
sooner we're no longer his friend becoz of his over reacting,perasan and...attitude.
the in this year's hari raya...he'd sent a raya card to mary..
in the envelope he wrote a letter...its 3 pages full of letter and a note...
and now im gonna tell u sum of the ridiculous story...
in brackets is my comments
the title of the letter is "the truth-whts wrong with me and why i change alot"
i nv told u the whole story abt myself.
its true tht lizzie ahd said tht i've changed alot after the sketsa competion and everything.
the truth is i lied to u abt i already sembuh from my penyakit...
u noe my weird penyakit character at port dickson??
actually is not a penyakit,but it was my dark side...
(ya rite,as if we believe u??)
i only told lizzie and chanelle abt this.
cikgu shamsul is the only person who knows the whole story,
and none of my family members knows abt this...
its sarted before i moved to sepang,
when i was in K.L i already hv this weird feelings at night.
when its at night,i've alrady become another person,
when i changed,i will find a way to get out from my hse
and i dnt even care tht is late.
when i bcome this person,i will bcome the opposite of me...
for exp i will bcome a guy with a few words(and i dnt nie wht tht means)
i will menyakitkan hati all the person tht i loved and care for the most especially my family
and friends.
all the things tht happend to u and ur friends is not the firs time...
i've lost some of my best freinds before i K.L (kesian nyer...)
especially when they all hang out with me at night...
lots of my ex they didnt leave me but im the one who hurt their feeling when its at night...
i will call them and say things tht are really bad and make then cry...
( i pity the girls,ya rite as if we're gonna believe tht u hv so many gfs)
and the next day i'll break up with them..
bcoz i think tht is the best way bcoz i dnt wnt to hurt their feelings...
remember izati??(i dunno who she is)
she also gaduh gile2 with me last time untill both of us didnt talk to each other almost a year...
(ala,1 year jer...tak hairan)
the dark side of me always want me to be a person tht im not....
really damn hard to decribe... after i moved in to smkpsp i wanna start a new life...
by not being so nice with other ppl and not to look for sumone to be my special fren...
thts why last year i mcm mayat hidup and so pendiam...
not even a day tht im happy...
and i tot the dark side of mine was already gone...
bcoz i didnt do anything stupid..
so this year i wanna take a step to show to all warga smkpsp who is this syakir...
but lotz of pl idnt really like me...
so i try to slow down but suddenly i met u mary...
i can see all ur character,minat u,cita2,things u liketo do just the same with me...
(ya rite,u just wanna be a copy cat)
until today i cnt believe tht i met a person tht hv more than 90% same with me...
bcoz of u being so nice to me also be friends with lizzie and chanelle...
i feel so selesa being friends with 3 of u...
and if u wana noe,i wanna be an actor since i was in standard 2.. wanna be a film maker when i was in form2...form 3 i start to sing,
wanna be a pelukis since std 5...
but i nv had a chance to give it a try and i didnt hv keyakinan inside me to show ppl wht i got...
and almost 7 yrs i nv use eng to spea with ppl....
but u're the first person who believe in me...
u gave me a chance to masuk sketsa...
and thts the firs time i berlakon...
after i met u,lotz of things has changed...
i nv felt so happy before..
u pernah joke ajak i masuk one in a million but i did told michelle abt wht u've said
and i cakap i dnt think i got talent in singing..
she gave me confidence and said my singing is quite ok and i shud giv it a try...
then i tried to enter lotz of karaoke competition
i won 3rd im school,1st in psp,2nd place in kl
i've been invited to do mini rock n roll concert at bukit bintang..won 1st place at my mom's direct
selling comp place in p.d and k.l...
i also gone to lotz of places tp learn abt film making...
i nv feel so confident to do wht i wanna do...
lizzie gave me the support in drawing...
sometimes when i fikir balik,u guys was like my soul...
(go to hell la...soul is ur own self lar)
especially u mary...
u berjaya change me from a nobody into somebody...
no one yg sanggup fikirkan wht style suits me
and wht hairstyle for me especially was my curly hair...
ppl doesnt like my haur when its long
tp i ske rambut panjang...
(u ske is ur buissness lar...idiot)
but sedar tak sedar i start walking at night
wearing black clothes
i start cari paal with my old friends in k.l
so i start to hurt my mom's feeling everyday...
bcome very cruel with my sisters
and i really scared if i will start to hurt ur feelings...
bcoz u''re the person tht i sayang the most..
(omg....damn daramatic man)
i felt really weird when everything datang balik
and now i remember,
when sketsa practise...
ikhwal hit my head on the floor so hard untill i fainted at home...
(eh c'mom lar...if u wanna faint u shud hved faint earlier at school lar)
i didnt tell my mom abt it..
i dnt wan her to be worried ...
when i woke up...
my mom ask me why i scream so loud in my room just now and wht happend...
ur voice sond so diff...
i dnt really remember wht happend
(wow...so amazing,but kesian u lar...so young got amnesia..haha)
since tht day i keep hiding away from u guys abt my dark side..
when i changed
my face look brighter,im fearless,i like to walk at night,black is my fav colour...
my eyes bcome darker,my hair is abit black...
(er...theres no such things as,eyes darker,hair blakc abit...unless u pakai contact lense and dye ur hair lar...STUPID)
my voice change...
rememeber that night u talk to me me on the phone and u ask
'hello are u ok??'
actually tht time i already changed bcoz is almost 11..
but the DSOS (dark side of syakir) already weak...
(ya rite.....no one is gonna believe tht lar...)
to be continue......

the boyfriend that every girl would want....

When you break her heart - [ the pain NEVER really goes away ]
When she misses you - [ she's hurting inside ]
When she says its over - [ she STILL wants you to be hers ]
When she re-posts this bulletin - [ she wants you to read it ]
When she walks away from you mad - [ Follow her]
When she stare's at your mouth - [ Kiss her ]
When she pushes you or hit's you - [ Grab her and don’t let go ]
When she starts cursing at you - [ Kiss her and tell her you love her ]
When she ignores you - [ Give her your attention]
When she pulls away - [ Pull her back ]
When you see her at her worst - [ Tell her she's beautiful ]
When you see her start crying - [Just hold her and don’t say a word ]
When you see her walking - [ Sneak up and hug her waist from behind ]
When she's scared - [ Protect her ]
When she lays her head on your shoulder - [ Tilt her head up and kiss her ]
When she steals your favorite hat - [ Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night]
When she teases you - [ Tease her back and make her laugh ]
When she doesn’t answer for a long time - [ reassure her that everything is okay ]
When she looks at you with doubt - [ Back yourself up with the TRUTH]
When she says that she likes you - [ she really does more than you could understand ]
When she grabs at your hands - [ Hold hers and play with her fingers ]
When she bumps into you - [ bump into her back and make her laugh ]
When she tells you a secret - [ keep it safe and untold ]
When she looks at you in your eyes - [ don’t look away until she does ]-
Stay on the phone with her even if she’s not saying anything-
DON'T let her have the last word-
DON'T call her hot, but gorgeous or beautiful is soo much better-
Say you love her more than she could ever love you-
Argue that she is the best girl ever-
When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go-
When she says she's OK don’t believe it, talk with her-
because 10 yrs later she'll remember you-
Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her-
Call her before you sleep and after you wake up-
Treat her like she's all that matters to you-
Tease her and let her tease you back-
Stay up all night with her when she's sick-
Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid-
Give her the world-
Let her wear your clothes-
When she's bored and sad, hang out with her-
Let her know she's important-
Kiss her in the pouring rain-
When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is;"Who's ass am I kicking today baby?"

Disapointment

in our life

human's life of course...

there'll always hv disapointment...

i'm gnna tell u a story,

a story tht made us (our sketsa team)

DISAPOINTED!!

few days ago which is 12th July 2008 (sat)

our sektsa team are representing sepang to compete in,

Karnival Pendidikan Kaunseling Kerjaya (peringkat negeri) in klang,

we've been practising so hard for 3 weeks,

even though we're tired...

we're using the time tht we din hv to practise...

at last

the competition day has come,

we were so excited but yet nervous...

we were weatching te other contestants,

they performed very good and everything went smoothly...

a few hrs later,

its our turn to performe

we were so nervous..
but yet we stay called..

we set up the projector,radio,propes etc

after we've finished preparing,it's time to start to perform...

the 1st scene was very good...

and going on smoothly,

but when in the middle,

which is abt the forensic part...

everything ruined.....

but thne later,

the last scene was interesting..

but there's abit of technical probs...

all the scenes are not funny is sad...

but the audience are laughing...

after packing our stuff at the back stage

some of us went to mcd hv lunch...

ater hv our launch,

we wnt ack to the school,

they're announcing the winners..

we were so panic...

and after we know tht we dint get anything...

we were very DISAPOINTED!!

losing the sketsa comp it's just like u just broke up wit ur bf/gf...

thts very very sad...

and actualy our sketsa is very good,

the story was very interesting and good...

its just tht we were given the wrong information (the wrong rules and regulation)

but if out story put in as a drama comp...

i garantee we can win no 1...

we left the place and took the bus home,

even though we've loose the comp...

but we can be hyper...

but sum of then are very tired,

so they took a nap...

but mia cherly and michelle didnt slip coz they're too hyper...

hahaha...

:D

there are afew pics when sum of us in mcd...

The Charlie Angles.

in the 21st century...(ya right 21st century)

there was these 3 girls...

who named as...

Lizzie,Jenny and Che'nelle...

they were called 'The Charlie Angles' by friends and ppl...

as u know...

the charlie angles movie hv 3 girls...

which is,

drew berrymore,lucy liu and cameron diaz...(hahaha...i'm talking craps)

Lizzie-drew berrymore

Jenny-lucy liu

Che'nelle-cameron diaz

(hahaha...i'm talking craps)

phh...and btw

they are also been called as 'The Powerpuff Girls'

(hahaha...funny isn't it??ok SHUT UP!!im trying to talk here...daa...)

they are hyper all the time,

anywhere,anytime,any moment...

there's always laughter in their world...

they eat together...(not really,only in school...lol)

they sleep together??

no la,

they dnt even live together..

they shop together...

nah,not really lar...

only lizzie and che'nelle..

coz,jenny is nt allowed to go out without her MOM...

protected child...aaa...

poor thing...lol,

they always grab this dude...

which is melvin..

mel pek pek or apek...

to bully him...

hahaha...he's coward man,

seriously...wht a coward,

but there's 1 thing...

he ran very fast...

trust me (wink* wink*)

3 of them love to read seventeen mag...

one day...

lizzie saw a form...

a form for signning up to be a cover girl...

so,lizzie called up jenny and che'nelle,

well,che'nelle doesnt wnt coz she's too SHY...

and jenny??

she definitely wnt it...

then lizzie and and jenny both sign up together...

few days later...

jenny get a call...

its from the agent or sumthing...

i dnt know whts it call??

and say tht she has been choosen into the top 10 finalist...

wht abt lizzie??

she didnt get in...

but she dnt even care...

well,many of u guys know wht happen in the cover girl comp right??

so i dnt hv to tell u abt it lar...

u guys noe wht??

wht 4 u wnt me to tell u??

haih...if u wnna know who win??

GO AND BUY SEVENTEEN MAG AUG ISSUE LAR...

why u so SUTPID 1??

thts y lar...

in our age like tht arr...teenage lar...

dnt read female or her world lar...

its not out style u noe...

so go and grab 1 seventeen mag today...

(fulamak,mcm tgh promote seventeen mag jer...lol)

ok,forget abt the seventeen mag..

owh yea...

i forgot to tell u,

b4 jenny join the C.G...

cover girl lar idiot...

u mmg 100% stupid lar...

jenny has shifted to another place...

as u noe...

we 3 girls tht work for charlie..

and now,jenny hv to work for AARON (wink* wink*)

(i dnt know wht am i crapping.ROFLLH)

and then...

charlie found another girl to repalce jenny...

which is Fat-anna :P aka mandy...

kesian her...

always kene bully by me :P

i say untill so teruk tht she replace jenny...

no lar...

she is also part of us...

she will nv be left out...

she is always hyper...

and,

will always be there when youre sad...

gagagagagagaga...

THE END... wink*wink*